The need for social mobility has been one of the only things that, for as long as I can remember, all of the political parties in the UK have agreed upon. Everyone agrees that it needs to be improved but there isn't a consensus as to what the required level of social mobility is, only that we aren't there yet. All of the parties have their plans to improve social mobility and will go to great lengths to tell you why the other parties aren't doing enough to increase it.
Last year my wife and I had a frank conversation about the direction we felt the the UK economy was heading and what it meant for our personal prospects. Then, like rats deserting a sinking ship, we emigrated to Australia. We've since been back to the UK for work and have remained keen observers of the UK both politically and economically (although currently, politics seems to be solely dictated by the economy). I mention that I live in Australia because last week I was having a conversation with some friends about social mobility that made me question whether social mobility in the UK is in need of being increased at all.
My Australian friends had a hard time understanding social mobility because Australians generally refuse to acknowledge the class system that exists in Australia. What one of my friends actually said was that, "Australia doesn't have class". Which, whilst true in a literal sense, is untrue in practice. Australia, like the UK, has haves and have-nots. The have-nots want to join the ranks of the haves, and the haves want to have more. Just because the UK has a formally recognised class system doesn't mean that it's the only place in the world where social mobility is an issue. This battle to have more is the common understanding of what social mobility is.
In my observations of the UK I have concluded that, despite conflicting statements from almost every politician, social mobility in the UK is at an all time high. But in this era of austerity how is that possible? Quite simply because we, like the politicians that pander to us, need to properly understand social mobility. It is the movement from one class - or status group - to another. It is not, to use our simplified definition, the battle to have more. Social mobility is our battle to have a different amount. Mobility is not defined by its direction but by its ability to move. Sure it can move up, but it can also move down.
For generations education has been seen as the key to social mobility and it still is. However, in years past, UK students would graduate and get a job. This job would be a better job than they could have achieved without a tertiary qualification and thus their journey to upward social mobility had begun. This was their right, irrespective of how poor their grades were. Graduating university virtually guaranteed upward social mobility.
Today, for middle class students, the absolute best case scenario is that graduating university will mean they avoid social mobility altogether and stay right where they are. Unfortunately for most graduates, the high levels of debt they graduate with and the complete lack of employment opportunities means an almost certain downward social move. Working class youths are now not only being priced out of tertiary education, they are now competing with middle class graduates for poorly paid unskilled jobs. For those who don't go to university, moving up is not an option, so stagnation is also the best case scenario.
What about the post baby boom generation who have worked hard their whole life and sensibly planned for their retirement? Well the markets have crashed, Europe and America are broke and that retirement fund, if it doesn't go bankrupt, won't be worth what you thought it would be by the time you retire. Oh, and you'll probably have to retire many years later than you planned thanks to new laws and lack of options.
Due to the housing bubble, who knows what your property will be worth when you want to retire so you might not even be able to fund your retirement by selling that. Graduates and non-graduates are all equally unemployed so the chances of them buying their own home, one of previous generations other keys to upward social mobility, is a distant dream. Get used to renting kids, because owning your own home is becoming just something your grandparents used to do.
It might be better to voluntarily take some downward social mobility now just to get used to it. If fighting it is futile then why bother wasting your energy on it? For generations we have aspired to be better off than the generation before and, up until now, that has been possible. Unfortunately, like a balloon, this constant expansion isn't going to end well so, in order to avoid the bang, let's voluntarily let a little air out of our dreams.
We've been told for so long now that we should be doing better that we've come to demand it. But now that we are starting to realise that we won't be able to do better, maybe it's time to start embracing the long forgotten concept of the noble working class. We simply can't all be wealthy. Being poor isn't just something you should get used to, ultimately it's something you've always wanted.
For decades, when you asked a teenager what they wanted to do when they grew up, there were always those who didn't really want to do anything. Well congratulations, your dreams have come true, now you don't have to do anything. Since there are no jobs for you you can stay unemployed, it's trendy now and you won't be alone.
We love a rags to riches story. We always have. We love reading about how Jay-Z grew up with nothing and had to sell drugs to survive. How he lived in 'the projects' and how he achieved so much when he started with so little. Well the good news is that, if the UK continues on its current path, the UK will have more and more children starting life with the same advantages as Jay-Z. Imagine how proud you'll be of your child if they achieve greatness now.
Don't listen to the politicians, the UK currently has record levels of social mobility. Unfortunately everyone is moving the wrong way. But the future is looking bright. Soon you'll be so low, you'll only be able to move up.
Saturday 22 October 2011
Monday 17 October 2011
As Old As You Feel
So we had my parents staying with us this weekend. Whether you're a teenager or an adult your parents can sometimes make you feel like a child. It's not something they do on purpose, it's just what happens sometimes. Parents start their relationship with you well before you become an adult. Sometimes they forget that, in the intervening time, you have become an adult. I can report that this week my parents didn't make me feel like a child at all.
They stayed on our sofa bed and we had a fantastic time. The only reason I mention this is because on a weekend where I was expecting to be made to feel young, I ended up feeling old. I'm not old and I know this to be true. Equally I'm not young and I had this made clear to me on Friday night.
It was about half past seven on Friday evening and my wife and I were at home. We weren't going out, but some young people occasionally don't go out on a Friday night too... don't they? I was getting the DVD player ready to watch the final season of Sopranos, which is a show that young people also like, nothing unusual there. My wife was cooking Kung Po chicken and she realised that we didn't have any peanuts. Everyone, no matter their age, knows that Kung Po chicken needs peanuts so I went across the road to the shops.
As I got to the traffic lights there were two girls handing out flyers. They seemed to be old enough to get into a bar but not old enough to like any bar that I would want to go to. I passed by without them offering me a flyer. I figured that this was because I was very clearly not wearing the type of attire that would be suitable for whatever club they were handing out flyers for. Personally I feel that tracksuit pants with a hole in the knee and a Minnesota Vikings jersey make a very fetching outfit and this mystical club would be lucky to have me. It couldn't have been because I looked too old to go to their club. Surely not.
As I was standing there, waiting for the lights to turn green and not crossing illegally, like a responsible adult, I heard these two girls speak. They were obviously not friends but had been thrown together by their common desire to earn minimum wage. As they stood there, getting to know each other, I listened. The tall one spoke first, she had the tone of someone who would find handing out flyers to be a mental strain, and she said, "so, I turned 20 last month, right."
I have assumed that her use of "right" at the end of her sentence was merely a linguistical tick of todays youth and not her attempt to form a question. Her colleague, the short one, replied, "Really?"
This was a question. I'm almost certain of it. What exactly she was questioning I'm not sure. She was either trying to confirm the accuracy of the tall one's statement or requesting clarification as to what a number was. Either way, she was shocked. The tall one acknowledged her shock and responded, "I know, but I always say that you're only as old as you feel and I definitely don't feel like a 20 year old."
Don't feel like a 20 year old! What do you mean, you don't feel like a 20 year old? The disdain in her voice towards her ever growing years made me want to punch her. I had a little aggression built up at this point anyway because, by this stage, I had worked out that the reason they didn't give me a flyer was because I was clearly too old for their stupid club. How could they cut me so deep with their eyes? Their youthful, judging, hate filled eyes.
I would love to be 20 again. Twenty year olds are now children from where I'm standing. I have my parents staying in my house this weekend and you're not going to give me a flyer because you're feeling over-the-hill? It's important for me to restate, I'm not considered old by the majority of people and I'm aware of that. But, at that moment, I felt old.
Earlier that evening, while my wife was preparing the vegetables for dinner, I was in the bathroom and after trimming my beard I realised that I had to trim my ear hair. This is not something that I've had to do before. It's not be a big deal, it's just part of the ageing process. But on the evening when you trim your ear hair for the first time, and you're faced with the reality of your decaying body, you definitely don't want to hear some pretty little twenty year old bitching about her impending retirement.
After buying the peanuts I went home and for the entire weekend my parents treated me like an adult. But I'm not an adult. I'm young, immature and reckless goddammit!!! Why didn't my parents just tell me to go to my room? Or threaten to cut off my allowance if I didn't do my chores? Why did they pick this weekend as the time to treat me like an adult?
So this weekend I learned two things. Firstly that Kung Po chicken tastes better with peanuts and I'm glad I went across the road to get them. Secondly I learned that I'm getting older. I'm not old yet, but I'm definitely on my way. If you're only as old as you feel, this weekend, I felt old. However those girls are young. I don't care if they feel old, they're young. They may not have come across as the brightest people I've ever encountered, but they're young... for now.
They stayed on our sofa bed and we had a fantastic time. The only reason I mention this is because on a weekend where I was expecting to be made to feel young, I ended up feeling old. I'm not old and I know this to be true. Equally I'm not young and I had this made clear to me on Friday night.
It was about half past seven on Friday evening and my wife and I were at home. We weren't going out, but some young people occasionally don't go out on a Friday night too... don't they? I was getting the DVD player ready to watch the final season of Sopranos, which is a show that young people also like, nothing unusual there. My wife was cooking Kung Po chicken and she realised that we didn't have any peanuts. Everyone, no matter their age, knows that Kung Po chicken needs peanuts so I went across the road to the shops.
As I got to the traffic lights there were two girls handing out flyers. They seemed to be old enough to get into a bar but not old enough to like any bar that I would want to go to. I passed by without them offering me a flyer. I figured that this was because I was very clearly not wearing the type of attire that would be suitable for whatever club they were handing out flyers for. Personally I feel that tracksuit pants with a hole in the knee and a Minnesota Vikings jersey make a very fetching outfit and this mystical club would be lucky to have me. It couldn't have been because I looked too old to go to their club. Surely not.
As I was standing there, waiting for the lights to turn green and not crossing illegally, like a responsible adult, I heard these two girls speak. They were obviously not friends but had been thrown together by their common desire to earn minimum wage. As they stood there, getting to know each other, I listened. The tall one spoke first, she had the tone of someone who would find handing out flyers to be a mental strain, and she said, "so, I turned 20 last month, right."
I have assumed that her use of "right" at the end of her sentence was merely a linguistical tick of todays youth and not her attempt to form a question. Her colleague, the short one, replied, "Really?"
This was a question. I'm almost certain of it. What exactly she was questioning I'm not sure. She was either trying to confirm the accuracy of the tall one's statement or requesting clarification as to what a number was. Either way, she was shocked. The tall one acknowledged her shock and responded, "I know, but I always say that you're only as old as you feel and I definitely don't feel like a 20 year old."
Don't feel like a 20 year old! What do you mean, you don't feel like a 20 year old? The disdain in her voice towards her ever growing years made me want to punch her. I had a little aggression built up at this point anyway because, by this stage, I had worked out that the reason they didn't give me a flyer was because I was clearly too old for their stupid club. How could they cut me so deep with their eyes? Their youthful, judging, hate filled eyes.
I would love to be 20 again. Twenty year olds are now children from where I'm standing. I have my parents staying in my house this weekend and you're not going to give me a flyer because you're feeling over-the-hill? It's important for me to restate, I'm not considered old by the majority of people and I'm aware of that. But, at that moment, I felt old.
Earlier that evening, while my wife was preparing the vegetables for dinner, I was in the bathroom and after trimming my beard I realised that I had to trim my ear hair. This is not something that I've had to do before. It's not be a big deal, it's just part of the ageing process. But on the evening when you trim your ear hair for the first time, and you're faced with the reality of your decaying body, you definitely don't want to hear some pretty little twenty year old bitching about her impending retirement.
After buying the peanuts I went home and for the entire weekend my parents treated me like an adult. But I'm not an adult. I'm young, immature and reckless goddammit!!! Why didn't my parents just tell me to go to my room? Or threaten to cut off my allowance if I didn't do my chores? Why did they pick this weekend as the time to treat me like an adult?
So this weekend I learned two things. Firstly that Kung Po chicken tastes better with peanuts and I'm glad I went across the road to get them. Secondly I learned that I'm getting older. I'm not old yet, but I'm definitely on my way. If you're only as old as you feel, this weekend, I felt old. However those girls are young. I don't care if they feel old, they're young. They may not have come across as the brightest people I've ever encountered, but they're young... for now.
Wednesday 5 October 2011
To Character Or Not
Lately I have been performing some of my stand up 'in character'. It's been a lot of fun but I'm not sure if I'm going to continue it or not. I'm not expecting you to answer this question by the way, this isn't a cry for affirmation... well not for any more than the normal amount of affirmation I need to get through my week. The act of writing a blog is a massive cry for affirmation, as is performing stand up. I'm aware of my neediness, no need to point it out.
I've really been enjoying my performance lately and that might partly be down to mixing performing the character with performing as me. To explain, for those of you who haven't seen it or heard me talk about it, the character is a drunk, recently divorced stand up comedian who is reassessing his life and is bitter and angry about where he finds himself. Personally I love a good breakdown and this is a fun persona to play with.
The idea of the character came from watching the multiple comedians I've known over the years who have gone through a divorce. They all seem to spend a couple of months (sometimes longer) drinking heavily and being really bitter and angry. They then naturally take it on stage with them. It obviously affects their performance but because they're normally seasoned professionals they tend to 'get away with it' just enough for the gig to turn out okay. Then they normally get through to the other side, get their life back on track and get back to being hilarious comedians. I can think of one or 2 exceptions who have just stayed bitter and angry for years... they aren't the fun people you want to hang out with.
I however love the energy they took on stage with them. I love the bitterness and stream-of-consciousness that comes out of their mouths, the unedited emotion. So the character is my attempt to harness that emotion but to have some killer jokes to go with it. Thing is, I am really happy with how it's coming along.
There have been a few gigs where the audience hasn't worked out that it's a character. There have been 2 particular gigs where my acting has been so unfortunately convincing that even other comics, that I know quite well, have come up to me afterwards and asked, "are you really drunk or was it an act?" Hear that casting agents - I'm awesome at acting!
There were always going to be teething problems. I have spent the last 9 years learning how to be 'me' on stage, so I can't expect to have a completely different persona perfected after only a couple of handfuls of gigs. But it is definitely getting there. I need to let the audience in on the fact it's a character and I'm learning how far I can push the boundaries. Granted, I'm learning where the boundaries are in a retrospective fashion after I've clearly crossed them but hindsight is a fantastic teacher.
There was the time that I was on stage, in character, and chatting to a girl in the audience when I asked her, "how many cocks would you say is an absolute maximum?" There was context, but I'm not going to tell you what it is... I also closed a gig by saying that "I didn't want to get a divorce. Sure I hated ever second I was with her, but I really liked the idea of watching her slowly die." You can see why the audience reactions may have been mixed when it wasn't obvious that this was a character.
But if I'm getting so much out of performing as a character why am I considering stopping it? Two reasons really. Firstly, I'm not sure where it'll go. I don't think I want to take it to a full hour show and tour it so is it worth it? And secondly, it's taking so much time and I'm not convinced that that time wouldn't be better spent on improving and expanding my stand up. Which I would like to get back to touring. I've missed the occasional international gig and the sad lonely weekends spent crying in hotels. For some reason I'd love to get back into doing them again.
There are only so many hours that you can focus on writing and then only so many gigs where you can try it out. I've had about 10 minutes of new material (for me) written out for weeks now that I haven't done. Every time I go to an open mic room I end up doing the character, so I haven't tried this new stuff out. It's been fun writing the character but I earn my money performing as me and I want to continue to expand that.
I have a new found energy for stand up. I think that has come from doing something different, so the character has been good and I can always come back to it. For next year's Adelaide Fringe Festival and Sydney Comedy Festival I am going to be doing a joint show with my wife. It's kind of a play crossed with stand up. We've performed it before in the UK but we're in the process of editing it. That takes time to do too. Then there will be rehearsals and all the other fun that comes with a new show. So I've got stuff to do, more than enough to keep me busy.
I would rather work hard on the show and on my stand up whilst ignoring the character than to do all of them and not have enough time to do any of them well. Plus I have this blog to write.
I've really been enjoying my performance lately and that might partly be down to mixing performing the character with performing as me. To explain, for those of you who haven't seen it or heard me talk about it, the character is a drunk, recently divorced stand up comedian who is reassessing his life and is bitter and angry about where he finds himself. Personally I love a good breakdown and this is a fun persona to play with.
The idea of the character came from watching the multiple comedians I've known over the years who have gone through a divorce. They all seem to spend a couple of months (sometimes longer) drinking heavily and being really bitter and angry. They then naturally take it on stage with them. It obviously affects their performance but because they're normally seasoned professionals they tend to 'get away with it' just enough for the gig to turn out okay. Then they normally get through to the other side, get their life back on track and get back to being hilarious comedians. I can think of one or 2 exceptions who have just stayed bitter and angry for years... they aren't the fun people you want to hang out with.
I however love the energy they took on stage with them. I love the bitterness and stream-of-consciousness that comes out of their mouths, the unedited emotion. So the character is my attempt to harness that emotion but to have some killer jokes to go with it. Thing is, I am really happy with how it's coming along.
There have been a few gigs where the audience hasn't worked out that it's a character. There have been 2 particular gigs where my acting has been so unfortunately convincing that even other comics, that I know quite well, have come up to me afterwards and asked, "are you really drunk or was it an act?" Hear that casting agents - I'm awesome at acting!
There were always going to be teething problems. I have spent the last 9 years learning how to be 'me' on stage, so I can't expect to have a completely different persona perfected after only a couple of handfuls of gigs. But it is definitely getting there. I need to let the audience in on the fact it's a character and I'm learning how far I can push the boundaries. Granted, I'm learning where the boundaries are in a retrospective fashion after I've clearly crossed them but hindsight is a fantastic teacher.
There was the time that I was on stage, in character, and chatting to a girl in the audience when I asked her, "how many cocks would you say is an absolute maximum?" There was context, but I'm not going to tell you what it is... I also closed a gig by saying that "I didn't want to get a divorce. Sure I hated ever second I was with her, but I really liked the idea of watching her slowly die." You can see why the audience reactions may have been mixed when it wasn't obvious that this was a character.
But if I'm getting so much out of performing as a character why am I considering stopping it? Two reasons really. Firstly, I'm not sure where it'll go. I don't think I want to take it to a full hour show and tour it so is it worth it? And secondly, it's taking so much time and I'm not convinced that that time wouldn't be better spent on improving and expanding my stand up. Which I would like to get back to touring. I've missed the occasional international gig and the sad lonely weekends spent crying in hotels. For some reason I'd love to get back into doing them again.
There are only so many hours that you can focus on writing and then only so many gigs where you can try it out. I've had about 10 minutes of new material (for me) written out for weeks now that I haven't done. Every time I go to an open mic room I end up doing the character, so I haven't tried this new stuff out. It's been fun writing the character but I earn my money performing as me and I want to continue to expand that.
I have a new found energy for stand up. I think that has come from doing something different, so the character has been good and I can always come back to it. For next year's Adelaide Fringe Festival and Sydney Comedy Festival I am going to be doing a joint show with my wife. It's kind of a play crossed with stand up. We've performed it before in the UK but we're in the process of editing it. That takes time to do too. Then there will be rehearsals and all the other fun that comes with a new show. So I've got stuff to do, more than enough to keep me busy.
I would rather work hard on the show and on my stand up whilst ignoring the character than to do all of them and not have enough time to do any of them well. Plus I have this blog to write.
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